I was scrolling through my Instagram feed recently and came across this photo.
The first thing that struck me about this photo was the effort to dress up by the lady and the lack of effort by the man. It reminded me of a complaint I hear from a lot of Kenyan women.
Don’t get me wrong. I absolutely love governor Mutua. Plus I can’t tell what the context of the photo was. He could’ve been surprised while resting casually at home.
And I’m not saying that governor Mutua is a lazy dresser. Not at all. In fact, here’s a picture of him putting in the effort.
Not only is he well dressed for this one, they actually complement each other very well. All I’m saying is that the very first picture was a perfect summary of what I’ve heard Kenyan women gripe about with regards to some Kenyan men and the way they dress for important functions as a couple.
Let’s take a look at another couple by comparison. Here’s an American football star at an award show.
Notice how they complement each other really well with their color scheme of choice. Red, black and white. They look like a real power couple.
Now compare that, to the first picture. No need to scroll up. Let me place them side by side for you.
See the difference? There’s very little to no effort to the jeans outfit. A fact that is exacerbated by him standing next to someone who quite clearly took time to put in the effort.
As a man who sells men’s occasion wear, I get a lot of women complaining about the lack of effort by their men in the style department. Particularly on important couple-occasions. It can get really frustrating to spend hours getting ready and weeks picking out the right dress then a dude slaps on a plain shirt and worn-out blue jeans. Yes, the genders are different and men tend not to care about fashion as much, but Jesus!
And by the way as a man, I can tell you for free. No man would accept a situation whereby he dresses up in a dinner jacket for a function he considers very important and then his woman wears jeans and a t-shirt. Yes, we love you and your curves in jeans and t-shirts, but it’s not happening, sweetie. Dress inappropriately for what he considers an important function and you will be left at home. Guaranteed.
Enough venting. Let’s talk about solutions. How do you as a woman get your man to make an effort and look even more attractive in your eyes? I wrote a detailed post here on how to upgrade your man’s wardrobe. In summary, take matters into your own hands and dress him up. If done tactfully, he won’t mind at all. He will actually encourage it.
Picture this. If you want to buy a car, you could either spend months learning all the details about the different models of cars, or you could walk into a showroom and use your instinct about people to tell whether the salesman is trustworthy, and then use the information he provides you with to make your purchase. The second option makes more sense right?
Now in the above example, you are the car salesman. Except, in this case, the customer (your man) knows you, loves you, and trusts you. He doesn’t know or care too much about fashion. You do. So he’s looking to you for guidance in that department. Pretty much the same way you submit to him as his wife for guidance on most other issues. Two is always better than one. So take charge of your department and own your space.
As his woman, it’s on you to discover his tastes and cater to them by shopping on his behalf. It’s time to remind everyone just how dashing the man you chose is capable of being.